Well, we did it, Mamas. We turned the calendar over and we started a brand new year. I don’t know about you, but new years feel like fresh slates, blank canvases. It’s a chance to begin again, to start something new, to hone in on what we want more of in our lives. As we leave the old behind in our rearview mirror, it’s also a time for reflection. So, before I can embrace the new, I’ll need to muddle a bit through the past. I want to be transparent with you as I start my new journey, a journey I hope you’ll join me on. Walk with me.
2020
It was a year for the ages, for sure. Survival was the word for 2020. Fear of the unknown was at its highest and, amongst a plethora of other things, keeping a small, mom-run business afloat was a challenge, to say the least. I gave myself the backseat as I tried to keep my small team working. I focused on business strategy. I knew each heart whom my business served. This was my ministry. I gave the face of my business to my team. It was a decision I don’t regret. It was also the beginning of a separation. We closed 2020 poised for growth. (Praise God!) We not only survived, we thrived. As the year ended so did my leadership with this business as I chose to sell. Another timely decision I do not regret. I had an amazing ten year run with a business I cherished, with people I truly adored. I grew the business. The business grew me. It was a mutually beneficial relationship. I don’t regret that either. The Lord used this business to strengthen me.
2021
Surprise! A walk through the wilderness waited for me in 2021. I did not see that coming. I continually had to find my footing as I trudged through slander, rejection, and finally refining. I redefined who I was, mostly to myself. I had allowed too much of my identification to rest in what I DID instead of who I belonged to. I was NOT who I heard people say they thought I was. I was NOT defined by who I had been in the past, this business owner. I was NOT my business. I redefined who I was presently and pointed my toes in the direction of who I wanted to become. It was a lonely journey; many “friends” left my side. But not my Savior.
I was reminded of the silversmith who sits over the fire in the book of Malachi in the Old Testament, which states that “the Lord will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver.” You see, the silversmith will constantly sit over the fire, turning the molten metal. A watchful eye is necessary. The only way to purify and refine silver is to hold it right in the middle of the fire where the flames are the hottest so that the impurities will burn away, leaving behind the pure silver metal. If left for too long, the silver will be damaged, worth nothing. In the silversmith’s wisdom, the refining is finished when an image is reflected in it. I found comfort knowing that my Refiner had His watchful eye over me. He will allow fire just long enough to burn away my impurities. He never leaves me nor forsakes me. My walk through this fire is complete when His image is reflected in me.
2022
Redirection of mind, body, and spirit is my heart pondering in 2022. I’m letting go of ideals that never came to fruition. I’m cutting ties with places, people, and thoughts that no longer serve me. I’m nurturing my soul and stretching my wings.
Psalm 119:61 “Though the cords of the wicked ensnare me, I do not forget your law.”
I’m finding freedom. Freedom from a paradigm I can no longer support. Freedom to live unencumbered. Freedom to be the next version of ME that I was created to be.
Hebrews 4:16 “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”
Isaiah 49:9 “To say to the captives, ‘Come out,’ and to those in darkness, ‘Be free!’ They will feed beside the roads and find pasture on every barren hill.”
As the matriarch of our family, I’m circling our wagons. During the 1800’s, many traveling pioneers in covered, horse-drawn carriages would circle the wagon train at night, or when threatened during the day. The drivers lined up the carriages in a circle. This was a way of protecting their people from an attack. In 2022, I’ll be taking a step away from building my new passion project BellissiMamas to tend to my family. I will return after the dust has settled. I still have plans in my head and fire in my heart that must be shared. I was created to serve.
Psalm 73:28 “But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all your works.”
Proverbs 14:26 “In the fear of the Lord one has strong confidence, and his children will have a refuge.”
I will, however, ask you to join me in my journey. Not in the physical sense, although I’m sure there will be many opportunities to lend a hand to our endeavors. Our family is making a monumental move across the nation. Tennessee is calling our name. The Lord is preparing the way; it’s our desire to walk in it. I’d like to invite you to read about our plans, follow our adventures, pray for our travels, and encourage our hearts as we make changes to find our most beautiful life. You’ll still find me here on the blog at bellissimamas.com, on Facebook at BellissiMamas, and on the Gram at bellissimamas.
My hope is to write as the Spirit leads, sharing what’s going on in my motherhood as I continually seek to find the beauty in it. There’s beauty in the broken. There’s beauty in beginnings. Together we can unearth the blessings of beauty as we whisper the dust of familiarity away. These next few months of preparations are going to challenge me. I treasure your companionship.
Zechariah 10:1 “Ask rain from the Lord in the season of Spring rain, from the Lord who makes the storm clouds, and He will give them showers of rain, to everyone the vegetation in the field.”
Luke 6:45 “The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.”
Will you walk with me?
